From Coupled to Solo

We spent the next bit of our time in Joshua Tree National Park climbing and exploring chasms.

The chasm exploration was one of the wildest things I have ever done. we camped in the hidden valley with a bunch of old-school climbers who couldn’t stop hyping up “the chasm”. telling us “if you go in alone, you won’t come out”, “you’ll never be the same after going in”, “you’re only allowed to go at night”. so, a giant, rowdy crew of climbers left in the darkness to explore this chasm. i had my headlamp on and upon entering everyone started shouting to turn off your lights – “if you don’t do it without the use of vision you’re not really doing it” . so against my better judgement, and the words of my mom echoing in my brain to “be safe”, i turned my headlamp off and embarked on the darkest and most rad adventure of my life. there were points where you literally had to do cartwheels to fit through tiny and oddly angled crevices, scale up steep boulder faces, and slide down equally steep rocks with hopes you were sliding the right direction, as to not fall off the edge of oblivion. it was absolutely insane, and so. much. fun. (sorry mom <3)

After J left, we continued our travels and found ourselves energy vortexed in Sedona, Arizona. Literally energy vortexed, I should mention, as Sedona is famous for its energy vortexes.

Then off we were to the Grand Canyon! I found myself pretty quiet when we first walked up to the rim, having a difficult time understanding the vastness and needing a few moments to take things in silently.

I mean, it’s literally unfathomable.

Then we found ourselves in Moab, Utah, then Arches National Park and Canyonlands National Park. Basically, a lot of red rocks, desertous and canyonous lands. It was beautiful, vast, and COLD.

*A wild Lizard resting on the rocks*

And then we found ourselves in our ultimate destination since we initially began our travels together; Gunnison, Colorado. D was signed up for school here and through all the doubt, I kept telling myself it’d be great and it’d give me a chance to try things I had yet to do: sing at coffee shops, work at a dispensary or do a trimming gig, maybe even find a local job in my degree field and start pursuing that.

But really, as beautiful as Gunnison is, it turned out to be the beginning of the end for us.

The Universe made Gunnison intentionally hard for us: low quality camp sites, frigid cold and snowy weather where ponds and rivers were literally frozen, housing opportunities low quality/high prices/not pet friendly/snatched out from under us (one place we considered living in we literally called “The Dungeon” if that gives you any inclinations about the housing situation).

Our hardest interaction with each other took place in Gunnison and that further put things into a painful light that things were ending between us. Yet, following that, we had a stellar weekend canyoneering and rock climbing, exploring Utah and taking in the night sky.

Gunnison never yielded any housing opportunities and there came a day that I expressed to D I didn’t feel we treated each other very kindly sometimes. And that’s how it came to be that in Albuquerque, New Mexico, I purchased Henry (my current travel rig), and D and I split ways.


It was a tough and confusing few days where both of our lives dramatically changed. I set off on an adventure in the desert – true desert rat style – and D took off to Montana and Idaho to work on farms. I took a large source of comfort in the following quote over this time period (and honestly, ever since then – it’s beautiful and deeply meaningful): Constant is the only change.

We split with the vague inclination that in about a month and half time we would meet back up in the north and continue on, allowing ourselves space we desperately needed and room for our romance to flourish if that’s what it would do.

You see, the real question behind our issues was this: did we have deep rooted differences that would cause things not to work, or was it simply that we began living together immediately in an extremely small space that permitted us literally no time away from each other? Well, within 2 weeks time, that answer became clear and we decided to end things romantically.

And that’s how it went from an adventure of a life time, sharing space in a beautiful camper truck, to the adventure of a life time embarking on my own, making a home out of everywhere I went, and more importantly, within myself.

With Love and Light,


If you would like to help her continue her solo endeavors and feel a pull in your heart to do so, here’s where you might do so:

  • Paypal:
  • Cashapp: $elizabethbuttram
  • Venmo: @elizabeth-buttram-1

Published by roaminglizard

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